• Tell Me A Joke!                       CDC Information page funny

    Halloween Jokes for Kids

    • What does a skeleton order for dinner?
      • Spare ribs.
    • Why couldn’t the ghost see his mom and dad?
      • Because they were trans-parent.
    • What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
      • Ice Scream
    • What makes a skeleton laugh?
      • When something tickles his funny bone.

       

    • What does Dracula play baseball with?
      • A Vampire Bat.

       

    • What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
      • Frostbite.

       

    • Who did the monster ask to kiss his boo-boos after he fell?
      • His mummy.

    Back to School Jokes:

    1. What does your computer do for lunch?

    Has a byte! 

    2. What did the buffalo say at drop off?

    Bison. 

    3. Why do math books always look so sad?

    They are full of problems. 

    4. Why did the kid eat his homework?

    Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. 

    5. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

    With experi-mints!

    6. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

    Because she wanted to go to high school.

     

    Summer Time:

    Q:  Do fish go on vacation?

    No, because they’re always in school!

    Q: What do you say to a sweaty puppy?

    You are one hot dog!

    Q:  Why did the dolphin cross the beach?

    To get to the other tide!

    Q: What’s the best day to go to the beach?

    SUN day!

    Q:  Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

    Because they’re shellfish!

    Q: Which letter is the coolest?

    Iced t

    Q:  Why do fish like to eat worms?

    Because they get hooked on them!

    Q:  What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?

    Peanut butter and jellyfish!

    Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?

    A. To get to the other slide!

    Q: What do you call a witch who lives on the beach?
    A sandwitch!

    Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?

    When you’re eating a watermelon

    Q: What did the beach say as the tide came in?

    Long time no sea

    Q:  What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk?

    A mouse on vacation!

    Q. What did the grape say when he was stepped on?

    A. Nothing, he just made a little wine!

    Q: What race is never run?

    A swimming race.

    Q:  What do you call a snowman in July?

    A puddle!

    Q: Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer vacation?

    Because he already had a trunk!

    Q: Where does a ship go when it’s sick?

    To the DOCK!

    Q: What did the ocean say to the shore?

    Nothing it just waved

     

    Space Jokes: June 1st-June 7th

    Q.  Knock Knock.  Who’s there? Solar. Solar, who?
    A.  Solar you going to think of a better joke? 

    Q. How do astronauts serve dinner?
    A.  On flying saucers!

    Q. What did the astronaut cook for lunch?
    A.  An unidentifiable frying object!

    Q. Why did the sun go to school?
    A.
    To get brighter!

    Q.What kind of music do planets sing?
    ANeptunes!

    Q.What did Mars say to Saturn?
    A. Give me a ring sometime!

    Q. What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
    A. A marsbar!

    Q. Why did the cow go to outer space?
    A. To visit the milky way.

    Q. How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
    A. When it’s full.

    Q. What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
    A. The space bar!

    Q. What did the alien say to the cat?
    A. Take me to your litter.

    Q. What do planets like to read?
    A. Comet books!

    Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
    A. You rocket!

    Q. How do you organize a space party?
    A. You planet!

    Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
    A. He was looking for Pluto.

    Q. Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches?
    A. In a launch box!

    Q. Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
    A. A parking meteor!

    Q. Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
    A. Because there was no atmosphere.

     

    May 25th-29th

    JOKES TO TELL ON THE RANCH

    Q: What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car? A: Mooo-ve over.

    Q: Why do cows have bells? A: Because their horns don’t work.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck? A: Milk and quackers.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a rabbit? A: Hare in your milk!

    Q: Where do cows go on Friday night? A: To the moo-vies.

    Q: Why did the rancher buy a brown cow? A: Because he wanted chocolate milk.

    Q: What runs around a ranch but doesn’t move? A: A fence.



     

     

    May 18th-22nd 

    Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? A: Thunderwear.

    Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? A: Don’t look. I’m about to change.

    Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.

    Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will Let It Go.

    Q: What music frightens balloons? A: Pop music.